like lmao actually why do we call these postmortems?

Okay, this postmortem was a long time due but I was super busy in July and resting in August lol. The O2A2 Jam this year took place during one of my planned family visits so I honestly didn’t think I could get anything out. But I had 2 free days to write and draw things, and because this is probably my least technical VN (only one ending and it’s all just cinematic panning, so there’s not much needed in terms of coding) I was miraculously able to release it.

I’ll Be Home With You is actually a side story of a larger project I've been working on, so unlike my other postmortems I don't necessarily want to go deep into the characters and setting necessarily because I want to reveal that when the main project comes out. I’ll go into adapting a short story for an unreleased big story and the trials and tribulations of doing something like that. All I can really say for certain is that I always wanted to do some short stories for that bigger project, but never found motivation because, well, it's all centered around death and sometimes the thoughts are so overwhelming that it's hard to think about. It's important to think about because it's an inevitability, but still hard to think about considering my big ol' death anxiety lol.

That big project and this smaller one is kind of my way of coping with death anxiety and a reminder to live well for the sake of the people who love me. I hope you all will wait patiently for when I formally announce the larger project (that I’m going to call Project Funeral from here on out, until I formally announce the project), but until then, let me go into the details I can about making this.

Writing

Usually with my VNs and my body of work in general, they’re stand-alone pieces. I don’t really plan on sequels or prequels because usually once I’m done with a project, I don’t want to think about it for a time lol. Granted, I have some sequels in mind for a few, but even then they’re not even direct sequels, but stories that take place in the same setting with different characters.

With Project Funeral, I finished a rewrite/edit of it in the winter of 2023 and my mind was steeped with the characters and their circumstances. Editing it was more of me wanting to make sure everything is sound and makes sense and handles the subject matter respectfully, but thinking of those characters, I wanted to make a side story with a character that left a huge impact on the main story and the characters, but never shows up in the story themself.

So sadly, Bernadette Spiegel (who is known by Berny by siblings) is not going to be in Project Funeral. IBHWY pretty much confirms that. But the Spiegel siblings are close knit and she was such an important figure to them that if I were to write a short story for Project Funeral, it would absolutely be about Bernadette before she died.

It was interesting to essentially work backwards from the main text to make this short story. Again, Project Funeral had been written and edited long before IBHWY was written, so I already have a bunch of information about these characters to work from, as opposed to making it up on the spot and running with it. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that when I wrote everything when the jam started, it didn’t take long at all! Bernadette’s fate is already determined, so a no-choice VN suits this story well.

It's always wild to publish something that had been in my head forever, especially since Project Funeral is something I've been working on for a few years. Admittedly there had been fuzzier parts of the story I was wondering whether I should leave in or not, but publishing this side story helped solidify some aspects of the main story and is a great reminder of how incredible and satisfying it is to have something intangible for so long become finally tangible.

GUI

The GUI is actually directly from Project Funeral lol. I plan to release IBHWY inside of Project Funeral, so I just copied everything from that and changed the font to be something handwritten since she’s writing a letter.

I was actually contemplating making the GUI look more like paper since it’s a letter, but since I intended Project Funeral’s GUI to look a specific way (that I’ll discuss later when I release the full game) and am building the visuals around that GUI, I didn’t really have much wiggle room. Not having a full 10 days to work on the game definitely doesn’t help either, or perhaps I should say that it did help since I shouldn’t spend too much time thinking about a GUI I really shouldn’t need to change.

Artsyle and Direction

This was an interesting problem to solve on my end. I wanted to do the main CG with watercolors (as in not digital but with pigments), but I did not have the time to paint and let the paint dry, let alone draw out all the details. I was resigned to do it all digital since it would be quicker for me, but I realized an interesting compromise: why not print the lineart on paper and paint on top of it?

So I did! The color selection I used were actually the leftover colors in my travel watercolor palette, plus yellow. Whenever I go on trips, I try to paint something on location and in plein air, but on my return home I clean out the mixing wells so my next trip will have a clean slate. Usually I paint a doodle with the leftover paint, but it felt pretty poignant to use the colors that were leftover after a trip.

Just so y'all know, the paper is just regular printer paper, not watercolor paper. I also added salt to see if it made any interesting textural effects, and once dry I took a photo with my phone, edited it, and drew on top of it in Clip Studio Paint. Also thank goodness for the folks who make Clip Studio Paint brushes for free, because it really made my life easier.

Wait this is the end of the postmortem already? Aren't they usually longer for you?

Yeah lol. I don't know what else to add since I don't want to add more details about this VN, the character, and the setting. I find that if I prematurely announce a project, give too many details of a WIP, or announce it too soon in the dev process, I just never seem to complete it. Since this game is tied to Project Funeral, I'll stop for now and continue working on Project Funeral until I'm able to formally announce it.

I will say, thank you to everyone who played it and left a kind review for IBHWY! Sometimes I'm a little worried if the subject matter is too dour for people to engage or interact with, but it's a load off my mind to see what I'm creating is having a positive effect because of the subject matter, not despite of it. I am so sorry I haven't replied to comments yet, but I am really greatful for all the kind reviews people have left!

If you like VN or like the other things I've made, I'd appreciate the 5 star ratings since it boosts visibility! I'd also appreciate a follow for my Ko-Fi and Patreon, since I'm devising some things to utilize those more.

Thanks so much for reading, and hope you have a lovely day~

        ~Knickknack PJ

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